18 Days Till Last Chenmo

18 DAYS TIL THE LAST CHEMO INFUSION

Posted on May 2, 2016 by badboobandshit under alopecia, badboob, benefit, bilateral mastectomy, bills, biopsy, blog, bravery, brca2, Breast Cancer, breast cancer awareness, breast reduction, breath, breathe, Cancer, cancer, cancer free, cancer is a whore, cbc, celexia, chemo,chemo port, concern, depression, double mastectomy, drain bulb, early detection, emotions,environmental, exchange surgery, expanders, facts of life, feel yourself, fighter, finances, fml,freaking out, friends, friendship, fuck cancer, fuck you, generosity, gift, grief, guilt, hair loss,happiness, health, hero, holidays, hope, hormone replacement therapy, hospital, hysterectomy,implants, Invasive ductile carcinoma, invasive lobular carcinoma, journey, kicking cancers ass,life, life changing, life sucks, love, mammogram, mark up, mastectomy, mindfuck, motivation,nerves, nervous, nipples, Oncotype DX, peen, plastic surgeon, post op, power port, presents,proceeds, raw, real life, recovery, sacred, scared, smile, snoopy, spirit, strength, strong, suck it cancer, surgeon, surgery, survivor, suture, tamoxifen, testing, titanium marker, tits, tumors,Uncategorized, viral, warrior, weight, xanax

Whoofuckinhoo! Know what that means fuckers? I can see the finish line!! I am stronger than breast cancer. I will kick this bitch to the curb and not look back….

If I can make it past this week….You know the feeling of the flu? The flu that feels like you’ll die with every step & breathe? Every bone & joint aches and if you’re lucky enough to get a stomach virus atop the flu?….Welp, that’s how I feel currently.

The feeling where you’re sitting on the toilet with trash can on your lap….Not sure which end you will spew toxic waste, but knowing it will happen….soon….

I’ve never been on a cruise, but I can only imagine what it feels like to be seasick…..As, I’ve felt seasick since Saturday. Nothing is released in over 20 minutes [still toilet side] and the mo you get up to stretch your legs & whatnot, that’s when the magic happens kids….fuck you chemo.…I hear my baboo calling for me….fuck you chemo….my bowels feel as if they’ve been squeezed clean….fuck you cancer….You will have constipation they say.

Anyhoo, looking ahead, 77 days, I’m scheduled for the new tit exchange surgery and hysterectomy; same day. I’m not sure if I’ll be staying the night. Both surgeries are out-patient. Reason for the hysterectomy was my brca2 mutative positive~~lucky me!! Being brca2 positive means my chances for ovarian and cervical cancers are increased….time to close up shop….another abandoned playground. I’ve done the research. Having both procedures should put me down close to 2 weeks, hence the dates on the meal list. I was trying to be proactive to get those dates lined up for all those lovely badboob supporters. Having both procedures same day, means one recovery….If all goes well [and fuck me, I’m sure I’ll encounter a challenge or six] I should be healed and well with a but of hair growth by the time sweet baboo starts Kindergarten in August.

WELL MOTHERFUCK. DON’T YOU JUST HATE SPENDING TIME ON A PROJECT ONLY TO NOT HAVE THE FUCKER SAVE. AND NOW YOU MUST REDO. AND YOU DON’T KEEP NOTES. SO THIS POST BLOG WILL BE NOTHING LIKE THE ONE I CONSTRUCTED YESTERDAY. SUCH IS LIFE.

I had chemo infusion number five Friday the 29th. Earlier in the week, sweet baboo and I picked the sweetest most delicious strawberries, came home & made smoothies~yum. I was ‘bulking’ up on C and antioxidants from the berries.

  I sit here knowing the nausea I feel this morning will be nothing compared to what I’ll be feeling shortly. 

I sit here knowing my body is about to explode. In a gnarly ass way. 

On an insistence from a friend, I’ve created the Badboob Chemo Food Amazon Wishlist. I by no means expect anyone of you to get me anything….but so, so many of you have asked how you can help comfort me. I know the feeling….Knowing a friend is suffering, but you can’t physically console, so we purchase stuff in attempts to perk up said friend….It is working guys. Every well wish, message, text, of support helps to carry me along further….Thank you so very much.  The wishlist contains gift cards to restaurants [to be used with Take Them A Meal], medical goodies for surgery in July, blah blah & shit like that. But you guys!

You guys are ordering and sending us goodies, prezzies & surprises. Not gonna lie, feel like total ass, chemo is fucking brutal [how many times have I said that, probably every blog since receiving chemo]. But knowing I’ve so many out there rooting for me and the whole badboob family….no words….lots of big sloppy emotional chemo induced tears….I will forever be grateful to everyone who has shown supoort and compassion during my breast cancer jaunt.

I will seriously never be able to give a proper thank you to all you beautiful people walking this journey with me. I’m so flabbergasted that you guys feel touched enough to reach out, truly humbling. Friends. Old. New. You’re all fanfuckintastic.

From my toilet to yours make it a good one kids.