A Greeb Plastic Watering Can

A Green Plastic Watering Can
For a fake Chinese rubber plant In the fake plastic earth....

My tits were an integral part of me sexual wellbeing....I'm no longer sexual or well..…

https://badboob.wordpress.com/2016/10/17/a-green-plastic-watering-can/

Not Everyone Gets A Trophy In My House

https://badboob.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/not-everyone-gets-a-trophy-in-my-house-boy/

NOT EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY IN MY HOUSE BOY….

Posted on September 19, 2016 by badboobandshit under alopecia, american cancer society making strides against breast cancer, ativan, benefit, bilateral mastectomy, bills, biopsy, blog,bravery, brca2, Breast Cancer, breast cancer awareness, breath, breathe, cancer, cancer free,cancer is a whore, cbc, celexia, chemo, chemo cold caps, chemo port, chemotherapy, concern,depression, drain bulb, emotions, environmental, exchange surgery, expanders, facts of life,family, feel yourself, fighter, finances, fml, freaking out, friends, friendship, fuck you, generosity,gift, grief, guilt, hair loss, happiness, health, hero, heroic, holidays, hope, hormone replacement therapy, hospital, hysterectomy, implants, Invasive ductile carcinoma, invasive lobular carcinoma, journey, kicking cancers ass, life, life changing, life sucks, mammogram, mark up,mastectomy, menstruation, mindfuck, motivation, nerves, nervous, nipples, Oncotype DX, party,peen, plastic surgeon, poop, premarin

Me to sweet babboo during our intensive Foosball game. Ha, he thinks I’m gonna let him win, nope he’s got to earn it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hard ass. But I’m not going to let him win either….balance fuckers. We all need balance. 

And since I’m a Libra, I’m all about the balance. If you’ve seen my Fb or IG you may have noticed I’m all about those hashtags too.

When you’re going to start receiving chemo, you may have a bit of a freak out. I freaked the fuck out, bad. I cried every step in the infusion suite….But we know this is part of treatment. These toxins are to clear our bodies of any last remaining cancerous cells…

YOU’RE GOING TO BE SICK.

SICK AS FUCK.

YOU’LL BE HUNGRY, BUT CAN’T 

YOU’LL HAVE TO URINATE, BUT CAN’T

YOU’LL WANT TO SLEEP, BUT CAN’T

YOU’LL WANT TO WALK, BUT CAN’T

YOU’LL WANT TO EAT, BUT CAN’T

YOU’RE GOING TO BE SICK

SICK AS FUCK

For what seems like days, weeks, months, years…..when in reality it’s only been two and a half days….that’s how bad this shit fuck’s you up.

When I spit, I had to grab it with my hand…too weak to even rid my mouth of spit….

You think I exaggerate? Nope, not one lil deet. When you pee, you kinda let it drip (like the peens do) because you are too weak to even reach around and clean your pikachu….Yes, it’s that bad…no shit.

Forget ginger chews as the mouth sores rebel very quickly. Forget water, it hurts to swallow. I ate nerds. Boxes and Boxes of nerds…the big boy that’s a five serving…ha! One serving for me…yummy nerds.

It’s been 272 days since my bilateral mastectomy, and a few weeks since new tit exchange; you’d think at this point in the game I’d be able to look down at my self (my chest) and not cry, wrong…..When I shower, I do all I can to wash my fakeboobs in the quickest fashion. It’s so odd. Bizarre and sad. My boobs brought great enjoyment to me for many fucking years. Now I’m a clean slate. Still in my human skin, but a bit perky and nipple-less…Just the mere sight and I’m immediately reduced to tears. That gorgeous woman standing with me is Dr. Lisa Tolnitch of Carolina Breast Care; she saved my life December 22, 2015 by removing many tumors and two cancers from my left breast.

So those of you that have been here since day one, know I’ve bitched a lot. I also want you to know your bo,dies. Feel your boobs. Know your lumps, bumps…..I was unsure as to which direction I wanted to take this blog. Cause you know, cancer is gone, treatment is complete, new boobs in place….

We all know presecreening is essential to our health. Had I had a mammogram at 40, my cancer would have went undetected until my next mammo at 45….And while I did catch my cancers early on, there were still so many tumors a lumpectomy wasn’t an option for me….It may be for you.

Don’t let lack of insurance, fear of needle pricks or any other ism/excuse hold you back…if you find a lump, get that fucker checked out ASAP!!

K. Now for some goodshit…you know my pot of fucking gold……I thought my parting gift from the breast cancer game was fake tits…..wrong…..I’ll be one of ten featured models for Macy’s Model walk for strides against cancer! Yes you read that right! Me a model, for fuck sake!! So stoked to be a part of that. The models are encouraged to sell tickets and create a team…Team #badboob is currently in 18th position for The American Cancer Society, Greater Raleigh! So readers, boob feelers, friends I’m sharing my link with you here in hopes you’ll show some support be it monetary or sharing with your friends. I want Team #badboob to knock this #makingstridesagainstcancer walk so far outta the park. I know I can do it, with your help. Obv….

I‘ve raised over $235.00 this weekend…Not bad since the official American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer campaign hasn’t officially kicked off yet!
I’m asked to sell 4 seated tickets for family to watch my modeling gig….3 of the 4 have been purchased. If you’d like to help my family by purchasing that 4th seat, please submit $25.00 to my PayPal, firedaizey@gmail.com, monies will be turned into organizer during my fitting.

And….if anyone wants a #badboob shirt, let me know! We get free shipping on orders over 12!!
Donations For Team #badboob Here.

And Then She Was At Peace

AND THEN SHE WAS A PEACE

Posted on August 11, 2016 by badboobandshit under alopecia, ativan, badboob, bilateral mastectomy, bills, biopsy, blog, boobs, bravery, brca2, Breast Cancer, breast cancer awareness,breast reduction, breath, breathe, Cancer, cancer free, cancer is a whore, cbc, celexia, chemo,chemo port, chemotherapy, depression, double mastectomy, drain bulb, early detection,emotions, environmental, exchange surgery, expanders, fabreeze, facts of life, feel yourself,fighter, finances, fml, freaking out, friends, friendship, fuck cancer, fuck you, generosity, gift,grief, guilt, hair loss, happiness, health, hero, heroic, holidays, hope, hormone replacement therapy, hospital, hysterectomy, implants, Invasive ductile carcinoma, invasive lobular carcinoma, journey, kicking cancers ass, life, life changing, life sucks, love, mammogram, mark up, mastectomy, menstruation, mindfuck, motivation, nerves, nervous, Oncotype DX, parenting,party, peen, period, plastic surgeon, poop, post op, power port, presents, proceeds, raw, real life,recovery, revocery, sacred, scared, smile, snoopy, spirit, strength, strong, suck it cancer, surgeon,surgery, survivor, suture, tamoxifen, testing, thriver, titanium marker, tits, tumors,Uncategorized, viral, warrior, weight, xanax

FREE FROM PAIN. 

FREE FROM SORROW.

FREE FROM LIFE.

ABLE TO SOAR HIGH ABOVE AND GUIDE US….

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve talked to you guys. A lot of shit has happened. A lot of sadness. A lot of smiles.

My circle of friends lost a beautiful soul this past Friday. Jo’s story, struggle & grace hit close to home for so many. We’d become friends before either of us knew we’d have breast cancer. Just a bunch of silly tweeters playing in the sea of anonymity that was twitter. Eventually a lot of us gravitated back to Facebook, and that’s when our friendship really blossomed.

I’m well into recovery, it’s been 83 days since my last chemo; thank fuck…Hell you may have even seen me ‘brushing’ my hair earlier in the week with that silly ass toothbrush. Laugh if you will, but that toothbrush felt so fucking good on my head. I’d tried a regular comb, but there were some stray fuckers that would not lay properly under my glasses. So I MacGyver’ed a brush….and boom! We have a toothbrush for my post chemo head. I’m only 24 days out from hysterectomy and new tit exchange.

Physically feeling pretty good. The noobies are a bit sore, the scarring isn’t pretty, but they are no longer toxic and I have my life. Which brings me back to the survivors guilt….Especially with Jo’s transition. My mind is all over the place. Happy one mo, crying the next….I’ve always been a bit emotional, crying at silly shit~but sans my lady bits, I feel more batshit crazy. That hysterectomy sucked ovaries….lolz….

I was reminded, by Jo, that one’s problems shouldn’t outshine or diminish the other’s. We all have shit to deal with. We will all deal differently. I admire her strength so much….I  will continue to look toward Joanna for inspiration on days I feel I can not continue……I know I only had stage one cancer and should consider myself lucky. goddammit skippy, I feel lucky as fuck….

But the thing that some don’t realize is even after the stitches fully dissolve, you’re left with the aftermath. In my case, I happen to be looking at some fantastic fake boobs, with vertical scarring from one side to the other. I will always see the scar first. I’ll always remember being traumatized and terrified. I’ll always remember Mr. Badboob holding my hand, putting my fears to rest….TBT, I’d still rather my own NatGeo’s and not have gone through this ordeal. But I have… And many of you have decided  to come along for the ride. You even stayed in the car when I began to veer and slide off said road. A few of jumped out of the fucking car the first chance they could, leaving gaping holes in my heart.

But I must look ahead for my own peace of mind. If I continue looking back second guessing myself, actions, words, I’ll never recover. My family needs me here, now….I don’t have anymore time to wonder why you reacted to me in such a harsh way…..It’s your life fuckers, live it how you want. Keep your toxicity to yourselves, I’m sick enough. 

Now that I’m finally on this side of recovery, I plan to #raiseawarenessraisehell with my #badboob story. I’ve got lots of projects planned, inspired by my stint with breast cancer, obv, but inspired none the less. I will not be shushed, well if I am shushed I’m gonna tell you to fuck off buddy. There is too much sickness out there. Too many people, young & old, with cancer.

We need to find a fucking cure already and put an end to the destruction it has caused.

You Have Grandpa Hair Mommy

Posted on July 10, 2016 by badboobandshit under alopecia, ativan, badboob, benefit, bilateral mastectomy, bills, biopsy, blog, boobs, bravery, brca2, Breast Cancer, breast cancer awareness,breast reduction, breath, breathe, Cancer, cancer free, cancer is a whore, celexia, chemo, chemo port, chemotherapy, concern, depression, double mastectomy, drain bulb, early detection,emotions, environmental, exchange surgery, expanders, fabreeze, facts of life, family, feel yourself, fighter, finances, fml, freaking out, friends, friendship, fuck cancer, fuck you,generosity, gift, grief, guilt, hair loss, happiness, health, hero, heroic, holidays, hope, hospital,hysterectomy, implants, Invasive ductile carcinoma, invasive lobular carcinoma, journey,kicking cancers ass, life, life changing, life sucks, love, lysol, mammogram, mark up,mastectomy, menstruation, mindfuck, motivation, nerves, nervous, nipples, Oncotype DX,parenting, party, period, plastic surgeon, post op, presents, proceeds, raw, real life, recovery,sacred, scared, smile, snoopy, spirit, strength, strong, suck it cancer, surgeon, surgery, survivor,suture, tamoxifen, testing, thriver, titanium marker, tits, tumors, Uncategorized, viral, xanax

Gee thanks kid.

Yes gang, my head does resemble that of a grandpa’s head, sort of…. Really am so happy the shit is finally growing back in! After over four months of being bald and hairless, it’s quite a relief. And I can actually grab a bit with my fingers too!! But….mother-what-the-fuck-my brows and lashes have almost all shed this week. I now have less brows than when I was going through chemo. The fuck? I’ve put a call into my onco for answers. It may be normal. It may be meds. IDK. I do know I’m not pleased with this new development.

One week and a day from today I will be checking into the hospital [at 5 fucking 15 am]!! The new tits will be installed. Old, useless and potentially deadly equipment will be removed. [read….no more crotch bleeding ]I should be good as new…. and with awesome new bewbs ….

1. THEY’LL NEVER SLIDE INTO MY ARMPITS WHEN I LAY DOWN.

2. I WON’T HAVE TO HOLD WHEN RUNNING, THEY WON’T KNOCK ME OUT WHILE JUMPING

3. I’LL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO TUCK INTO MY PANTS,

4. NO LONGER BE ABLE TO WRAP AROUND MY NECK TO KEEP MY WARM ON THE COLD WINTER NIGHTS

5. WILL NOT NEED A BRA…WILL NOT NEED A BRA….WILL NOT NEED A BRA!![BEEN WEARING THOSE BITCHES SINCE I WAS 12. HAVE PERMANENT GROOVES DUG INTO MY SHOULDERS FROM THOSE BOULDER HOLDERS]

My physical strength has returned, mentally I’m still a bit mushy; one day at a fucking time kids. It’s been great. Running, playing, jumping and getting all our sillies out with my Sweet Babboo. That sweet child has been through a lot in his five years of life, loss of a younger brother, mommy with breast cancer. I try to tell him everyday how happy I am he chose us to be his mommy and daddy.

JUST THE OTHER DAY BABBOO HAD ALL HIS KITTY CAT BEANIES LINED UP PLAYING SCHOOL. THE MOMMY KITTY SAID SHE WAS SICK. KITTIES AT SCHOOL ASKING MAMA CAT WHY SHE WAS SICK. I HEARD HIM REPLY, IN HIS MAMA CAT VOICE, THAT SHE HAD BREAST CANCER…. FUCK. MY HEART SWELLED AND DROPPED AT THE SAME TIME. BUT THOSE BABY KITTIES RALLIED AROUND THEIR MOMMY, TAPED HER UP AND KEPT TELLING HER THEY LOVED HER… WHAT A SWEET IMAGINATION.

HE SEES ME. HE SEES MY STRENGTH. HE SEES OUR LOVE.

HE’S GOING TO BE OK.

It’s not been roses everyday. It has not…. Maybe decaying, rotting in water roses…. It’s been fucking hard some days. Yeah, yeah, everyone’s life is tough. Everyone’s life is rough…. Everyone is faced with challenges. This I know, but remember this is my space and place. Perhaps if some quit sticking your nose where it shouldn’t belong, you’ll quit smelling shit….Seriously, we are faced with enough bullshit in our everyday lives. Let’s quit fucking with each other, fuckers. 

Recently, I’ve felt a renewed clarity. This a new and amazing feeling for me.

Next week, I’ll be in recovery mode again for a few weeks. Shit, it’s taken me almost seven months to regain my pre-mastectomy strength. During that time I was undergoing chemo, hence the delay in feeling ‘like myself’.

NO CHEMO THIS TIME. JUST RECOVERY.

NO WORRIES IF CANCER HAS SPREAD THIS TIME. JUST RECOVERY.

NO MORE BEING SCARED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND. JUST RECOVERY.

While I’m still pissed as fuck at the lump I discovered 243 days ago and I will probably always say ‘fuck cancer’. Always have said ‘fuck cancer’ so why should I stop saying it now? I’m not as angry. I still have my life, family and support system, which has been vital to my full recovery.  That’s what it all about, family. Right? I sincerely mean all the thank you’s to everyone. All who’ve sent messages, gifs, gifts, food, wishes, what have ya….I appreciate it all. I know I was freaking out in the beginning with my diagnosis. Thanks for sticking with me to see how this unfolds.

One week from today. One fucking week! This is one of my final steps in becoming a breast cancer thriver…. I love that term. Not only are we survivors, but we’re also thriving in the shit hole of life. 

Much love and all the feels to you guys.

xx