SO, YOU’RE GOING THROUGH CHEMO?

Posted on February 22, 2016 by badboobandshit under alopecia, bad boob, badboob, beer,benefit, bilateral mastectomy, bills, biopsy, blog, Breast Cancer, breast cancer awareness, breast reduction, breath, breathe, cancer, cancer free, cancer is a whore, cbc, celexia, chemo, chemo cold caps, chemo port, chemotherapy, concern, depression, double mastectomy, drain bulb, early detection, environmental, expanders, facts of life, family, feel yourself, finances, fml, freaking out, friends, friendship, fuck cancer, fuck you, generosity, gift, grief, guilt, hair loss, happiness,health, hero, hope, hormone replacement therapy, hospital, implants, Invasive ductile carcinoma, invasive lobular carcinoma, kicking cancers ass, life, life sucks, love, mammogram,mark up, mastectomy, menstruation, mindfuck, motivation, nerves, nervous, nipples, Oncotype DX, parenting, party, peen, period, plastic surgeon, post op, presents, proceeds, raw, real life,recovery, sacred, scared, smile, snoopy, spirit, strength, strong, surgeon, surgery, survivor,suture, tamoxifen, testing, titanium marker, tits, tumors, Uncategorized, viral, weight, xanax

YUP

YOUR HAIR IS GOING TO FALL OUT?

YUP

THAT SUCKS

PRETTY MUCH

Pretty much been waiting for that shit to fall out since my first chemo infusion 2/5/16. Day 14 after the first TC Chemotherapy Infusion aaaand the hair begins to fall the fuck out…right there in the fucking shower…sliding down my back….sliding down my legs….I knew it….You knew it….Those who will be undergoing chemo will experience it….watch the fuck out I say….I knew it would not happen the first day. Around day 13 they say. They called it. So fuck that shit. I had Mr. Badboob shave my head. And holyfuck! What a mindfuck. It looks decent enough. I look decent enough. You fuckers are all too sweet to the cancer girl with all your flattering comments & shit. xoxo

Magic mouthwash my goddamned ass. I had such high expectations in my mind regarding this magic mouthwash. I just knew it would relieve the burnt feeling my mouth has since receiving my first chemo infusion. I never actually got mouth sores. Rather, my mouth burned, like a motherfucker. It felt as if I’d sucked on a lemonhead for hours and my mouth got puckier burnt. For a few days last week, nothing could relieve it. Especially that fucking devil mouthwash goddammit.

At 56 days post mastectomy, I received my third expander fill. Another 90 cc’s. We talked a little of volume, expectations & shit. I’m going small this time around. No more fucking NatGeo’s for me, thank you. And after living with the last fill this week, I’m honestly happy with my size now. But since there are expanders beneath my pecs, I won’t know how I will look after the new tit exchange later this spring [that’s big fucking source of anxiety too. obv]. They sit higher and it’s quite bizarre. I’m big & boxy–or at least feel that way. But I did begin working out again this week. This is a huge accomplishment for me. As I’ve sat on my ass recovering long enough and I’m ready to feel semi-toned. I had to ask what to use as clothing because I had no idea how to dress this expander chest, goddammit. Sweatshirts were the general consensus which brought me to Ross and waiting an hour in their fucking check out line and sweet friends who have delivered some sweatshirts to me.

Friday the 26th I will be sitting in the chemo suite at the Duke Cancer Center. This will be infusion number two of four.The port is healed and hopefully the lidocaine cream will work it’s magic again on the power port. I should not feel a thing. Nor should I need any extra sticks. That’s the point of the port, one easy to use access point.

Make it a good one.

Get off your ass and explore it all